Beer In A D Cup

An underwear shop in Harrow has offered male customers a chance to win beer if they shop in store or online, as an incentive to break their fear at buying their partners something frilly.

I don't really understand the need for such fear when purchasing such items. At least it means the customers have someone special to buy such apparel for (or they are into transvestitism).

In a shock move though it's not some dodgy pale lager on offer, but Coopers Sparkling Ale, a half decent beer on offer.

So there you go then; only a handful of shopping days left to enter. Go and buy something to put jugs in and win something to put in jugs.

The Pub Cat

Why is it that grown men appear to go soft whenever a cat wanders around a pub? I was in The Wellington in Birmingham last week; the bottom end of the pub was full of men drinking in twos or alone, and in waltzed the moggy. Almost without fail everyone made a fuss of it. Even me, and I really don't like cats.

There doesn't seem to be the same fuss about dogs, which are much better animals! More pubs should have a pub cat, if only to give lone saddos like me someone to talk to.

BrewDog Rocks Project Week One

Don't forget to place your vote in the BrewDog design a beer video blog. The choices are Black IPA, Porter and Barley Wine.

For some background information on the project click here

For the video and thinking behind these choices click here

Help Design A BrewDog Beer

Non-conformist Scottish brewer BrewDog are launching a project this weekend where you can have a big say in a new beer to be brewed. As an unprecendented act of total democracy in the beer world, akin to Ebbsfleet United Football Club, decisions will be made by readers and viewers of their blog.

You can have the chance to choose the style of the beer, the malts and hops used, the ABV and starting gravity, any added extra ingredients (fruits/spices) and the beer's name and labelling.

BrewDog have the full support of their overseas importers so the final beer will hopefully be on sale somewhere near you early next year.

Beer Rocks as the project is called is open to all beer fans so tune in and have your say.

This Lager's Not For The Queen

It would appear that staff at Windsor Castle didn't fancy having an almighty session on twelve barrels of lager delivered there by mistake.

I'm pretty sure the Queen has better taste than to drink this fizzy stuff which was destined for football fans at a nearby pub. Indeed ma'am was later spotted necking pints of warm frothy ale whilst taking in a live Rugby League match (allegedly).

Frogs And Beer

The green frog on the left with his tankard of beer is causing a bit of kerfuffle with the Catholic church.

The brownish frog on the right with a tankard of beer in his hand supplied me with a very nice lunchtime half pint today.

Let's keep beer(and frogs for that matter) out of the Church I say.

How Bonkers Is Prince Charles?

Prince Charles has been photographed dozens of times in various pubs, cack-handedly pulling a half of bitter grinning from big ear to big ear. He's also well known for his love of the environment, organic farming, and promotion of all matters green.

So it seemed a good idea to visit Adnams brewery, to applaud them on their production of the carbon neutral beer East Green.

It's a great shame therefore that he chose to travel the short distance from Sandringham to Southwold by helicopter, landing a mile from the brewery, and travelling that last few minute by a gas guzzling Jaguar car. A major own goal there your Highness!

The Greatest Pub Game In The World

Over the years I've enjoyed the following pub games:

Pool
Bar Billiards
Darts
Northamptonshire Skittles
Cribbage
Whist
Quiz Machines
Arcade Games
Fruit Machines
Poker
Shove Ha'penny

And possibly some others when I've had a pint or two too many. However none of these can match The Greatest Pub Game Of All.

And that is:- balancing beer mats on the pub cat's head! See how many you can do next time you have a feline drinking companion, before it either shakes them off, or alternatively lunges at you with its claws at full extension.

Don't say you've not been warned, but it is great fun.

Classical Music With Your Tinnies

I realise this is supposed to be a blog about beer, but in my defence I have bought beer from the store so there is a tenuous link, but look what they are doing at my local supermarket.

You couldn't make it up.

Televisions In Pubs

I don't mind music in pubs so long as it's at a reasonable volume in order that I can hear myself think or my companions speak. Indeed if I'm drinking alone it does provide some company of sorts as a familiar lyric enters my head.

What I don't understand though is the purpose of televisions. I don't believe people go to the pub to watch EastEnders or such twaddle, nor do they really want to keep up to date with BBC News 24 or some such channel. Sports matches are a real draw but for my mind only serve to fuel a siege mentality, be it between supporters of opposing teams or in the case of a National team, a ridiculous (and fairly short-lived) alcohol fuelled patriotism. Added to this televisions don't lend themselves to being at a sufficient volume for those watching, to hear what's going on anyway.

For my mind the best form of pub entertainment is a gentle game of cribbage or dominoes; true pub games for true pub goers, none of your modern technology nonsense. Mind you without live news channels and those wonderfully inaccurate live subtitles I would never have discovered yesterday that Bertie Aherne is actually the "Pam Ayres of Ireland". Conjours up a picture of two.

New Pub To Sell US Beers Only

I've been contacted by reader Thomas Fool who has exciting news for Northamptonshire drinkers, and those from further afield. Tom is currently converting an old Kettering church which he will be opening as a pub in the next few months. However it's a pub with a difference. "I will only be selling American beers" he tells me. "Myself and my wife April have been to the last two GBBFs and I have loved all the US cask stuff. I also drink a lot of American beers in bottles, and I think they'll go down a storm. But what's really convinced me", he says "is how well the Stone beer has been going down in my local Spoons, and, it appears, nationwide."

I mentioned to Tom that Kettering may be an odd choice for such a venture but he is convinced that drinkers in the market town are an adventurous bunch. "We have two exciting micro breweries and a great award winning free house in The Alexandra Arms, plus being in the Midlands will allow drinkers from all over the country to get to us easily"

Sounds good to me, I'm awaiting my invite to launch night.

Anyone For A Beer Of The Week Post?

Regular readers will no doubt eagerly await my Beer Of The Month posts. I mean, what could be better than reading about all the good stuff that I've had in the last month, with perfect descriptions of all the attributes of said beers?

Actually you're probably bored of them, you probably think my taste in beer is crap, and my descriptions of the beers rubbish, but it's a feature I'm going to keep going, if you don't mind!

It could be worse I could be doing a Beer Of The Week feature like this chap. You've got to admire the willpower to keep it up, although his taste in beer isn't exactly the same as mine.

By the way I hope you all had a good Easter; I'm drinking a Corsendonk Christmas Ale tonight. After all the weather hasn't exactly been seasonal.

The Truth About Guinness And Heineken?

There's a good article on the satirical website The Spoof today. There's not really a lot to add to what they've said.

Having said that though, the disclaimer at the bottom: " The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious" is maybe the biggest lie on the whole page!

The Roughest Pub On TV

Shame on you if you live in the UK and don't watch Shameless. This tale of socially inept residents of a Manchester council estate is now in its fifth series, and unlike most series of its kind, is not showing any signs of getting tired and lacking longevity.

Like a lot of British television series much of the action takes place in the local pub. In this case it's The Jockey which is without doubt the roughest pub in British television. It's almost unheard of not to buy drugs with each pint; the pub is currently run by a murderer and his wife who previously slept with the man who later became her step-father; and all out brawls are par for the course.

Yet in spite of all this, the bar is adorned with three handpumps. I have never seen anybody drink beer though from these engines which are currently serving Adnams Old Ale (two pumps), and Wells & Young Bombardier. I am not sure why the otherwise accurate depiction of a rough estate pub has these beers (and there is no way Adnams Old would be on), but I can forgive it as it's such wonderful entertainment.

Buckle Up Your Beer

I had to chuckle at the story of a Californian driver who crashed his car earlier this week yet wasn't wearing his seatbelt. Obviously that in itself is no laughing matter, but the fact that he had belted up his twelve pack of beer is pretty ironic.

Mind you being clearly of below average intelligence it was probably Busch Light or something similar.

Reading Beer Blogs Makes Me Thirsty

It's a typical Sunday afternoon in my house. That means I'm not allowed to watch the football because daughter number one is hogging the television and throws an almighty paddy if I suggest that watching the same Wiggles DVD three times back to back might be a bit much for my sanity.

So after some important filing work in my office (beer festival programmes etc) I catch up with my beer blog reading. And it's thirsty work! It's amazing how reading about beer makes me want to drink some. Nothing special on this occasion; just a bottle of Tusker. After all the ways things are in Kenya at the moment it may be my last chance to drink this paricular beer (even if it's not very good).

So I wonder if I'm alone in grabbing a beer while blog reading? Perhaps you're grabbing a beer as we speak, I hope it's something better than what's in my glass. If so Cheers!

By the way my good friend Simon has updated his blog with a story about a day in Leicester we had recently. It's a good read. Leave him a comment; it might humble him into keeping it updated more regularly.

15 Beers, 15 Countries, 15 Styles

One of my interests other than beer is Fantasy Football, or soccer to people from across the ocean. For anybody interested, my team is currently top of the league. We have to pick fifteen players, limited to two per club, and to make it harder we operate an auction system so even then we cannot pick the best two players per club whilst preserving our budget.

All this made me think of a fantasy beer fridge. I allowed myself fifteen beers but limited it to one per style and one per country. This really is much harder than you think and it took me quite some time to arrive at my final 15.

How can I only pick one beer from Belgium and the US? How can I only pick one Doppelbock or one Imperial Stout? Additionally I am only allowed to pick beers I have actually drank already, and that are still in production.

My final list will not please many people. My favourite beer Rochefort 10 is not even included; there is no lambic, no IIPA, no Barley Wine, no wheat beers, nor any trappist beers of any style. It's a pretty eclectic list but it covers enough styles that I would be happy if somebody told me these are the only 15 beers I am allowed to drink for the rest of my life. I have used the styles credited to each beer on RateBeer.

I challenge readers to come up with their own list, either to post here or if you own a blog, on your own site. It really is hard, but great fun.

The list is below, in alphabetical order by country.

Austria	Doppelbock	Schloss Eggenberg Urbock 23°
Belgium	Sour Ale	Struise Earthmonk
Canada	Belgian Strong	Unibroue Trois Pistoles
Denmark	Brown Ale	Mikkeller Jackie Brown
England	Mild	Potbelly Beijing Black
Finland	Porter	Huvila Porter
France	Sweet Stout	Alphand Stout
Germany	Smoked	Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbier Märzen
Netherlands	Pilsener	Christoffel Blond
New Zealand	IPA	Emersons 1812 India Pale Ale
Norway	APA	Nøgne Ø APA
Poland	Baltic Porter	Zywiec Porter
Scotland	Old Ale	Harviestoun Old Engine Oil
Sweden	Imperial Stout	Nils Oscar Imperial Stout
USA	Fruit Beer	New Glarus Belgian Red

Norwich Beer Festival Attracts Beautiful Bird

I haven't been to a Norwich Beer Festival for over ten years, which is a shame as it is a good festival with an interesting beer selection, highlights this year being Bass Museum No1 Barley Wine and Old Chimneys Good King Henry and some good foreign beers, which always attract me more than the average cask ale.

The festival is held very near the middle of the city in a couple of halls which resemble an old church building. The venue is very atmospheric and all in all I would highly recommend a visit.

This year's festival nearly became half a festival though, as a sparrowhawk found its way into the hall while the festival was being set up. The inquisitive bird of prey then perched in the rafters high above one of the halls, and despite the concerted efforts of a local falconer it remained in place as the festival opened. The falconer was happy that the bird was in good spirits and not bothered by the imbibing habits of its human companions.

Obviously this is one bird with impeccable taste as the warmth and conviviality of the festival has got to be better than the cold outside at this time of year. I'm sure it will escape when hunger takes over - that's if it isn't filling up on imperial stouts!

Beck's Vier - There Is No Beer Here

Driving home from the hospital on Saturday night I saw an advertizing van for Beck's Vier. The van was resplendent in its livery, and, I dare say, does a good job as a promotion tool up and down the country.

Although brewed in Bremen, Germany, Beck's Vier is packaged in the UK and is only available in the UK at present.

Vier is, of course the German word for "four", and this pale lager comes in at 4%. It certainly tastes like a watered down version of its more common brother, which, I have to say, is one of my least favourite beers I've ever tried. The odd thing is I prefer Vier in spite of its lack of body. It's still pretty poor though.

The point of this blog entry is that at the back of the van there was written "There is no beer on this van". It got me thinking of a new slogan. Beck's Vier - There Is No Beer Here.

It made me laugh during a stressful weekend! Thanks for listening!!

I Don't Think She Meant To Say That

Foster's Brewery workers in Queensland, Australia are set to take industrial action over the next few days. The strikes are being called as the employers are ignoring the union members' desire to have pay and conditions agreed by the union Instead the brewers are set to impose regulations. I say all power to their elbow.

And indeed in a classic case of management foot in mouth speak, a spokeswomen has made the classic admission that their beer is pretty crap anyway. She says ""No one's going to miss their VB, or their VB Mid or their Crown or their Crown Gold or their Stirling or their Stella Artois." I think what she means is that production won't be affected, but out of context I think we can all agree that if these beers were wiped off the face of the earth nobody would shed a tear.